12.14 almost after midnight

Lots of times I like to begin by writing that its a strange life that I live.Either I keep making the same mistakes or some sudden realization dawns upon me from nowhere about the things i could have done.

But it probably hurts most when you think that sometimes you don realize the value of the people around you soon enough.

No more playing games with words.

This story is also about a girl.Beautiful and yes very beautiful.Some kinda repetition of words there.But its true theres no other words to describe her. She's probably fast asleep now.

Spoke to her exactly two hours and fourteen minutes ago.She never said goodnight today.

Thats her way of keeping distance.Soft and smooth.Would never hurt a fly.

Thats the woman i am talking about.

Now you know I never write any girl’s name when I write.So it will be this time too,But this time ll give her a name for the sake of this piece.She’s so endearing that I jus cant keep calling her woman.

I think should call her Nats for now.

wrote those first things sitting at the airport.

And here m I back at my watering hole.Its been four days since i saw dat girls face.Ve grown a beard now.Starting to itch a bit.

Haven gone to office ,Not feeling too good about working over there.I care a lot about this woman.She’s like no other woman ‘ve ever known in life.Ye thats all i could say about why she means so much .Kinda selfish right.So what?

This woman is like beauty incarnate if I may use the word.And how? I’m not even discussing her physical appearance.That would need me to use a another couple of sheets with Shakespearean word dribbling to even start.

Nats is beautiful .with also the naiveness that comes with it.Sometimes I tell her and she laughs.

Don’t really understand if she comprehends.Sometimes she gets it ,I think when she acts smart.

And then like the dumb and the beautiful, she acts stupid.

Now that gets me angry and upset.Fickle temper.And lots of love for her.

She often wonders and stops to ask me in the middle of an argument ,why i like her so ?Or why she is any different from any other friend of mine.She has her doubts.

She’s jus come out from difficult set situations.She’s also beautifully older than I am.

Maybe she thinks I’ve some immature love for her.Like a boy loves a girl.

It’s never crossed my mind.

Not that boy loving girl is a stupid thing.But what I feel with Nats is like ,I don't know.

I’d tell her if felt that way though.

With Nats around ‘ve always felt a whole love.I would’ve loved her so even if she had to be a boy.

Gives you something to laugh about perhaps.No i’m straight.

Sometimes I,feel like I feel like what I feel for ma.Sometimes it Suzy .And yes sometimes I get possessive like I used to get with Liz.

And Nats could be worried too.But she wouldn't confront you. Nats.

But now things aren’t looking so pretty.Things are getting a little not so pretty.

Not my Nats.Other things.

Nats doesn't know a thing about how the world loves killing butterflies for a collection.

Nats is so naive. Nats gets pretty careless sometimes and I want to run behind her covering up for her each time.Nats doesn't see things like we humans do.I forgot to inform earlier.I believe that Nats actually an angel sent down for being stupid.

Nats shouts at me sometimes.Like my ma.I like it when she shouts.Feel like I’m important.I also cry .

I just wished I could do more.Difficult.and I want to be immortal .Jus to hear her slam the door of her car before she gets into office and just to chase her car when she leaves.

She’s never known that.

I could jus keep writing till Pecos shuts down and come for month again and not be able to begin to say what Nats means.

But I just want Nats to know two simple things .

Nats is beautiful.

And ll always love Nats.

ll miss her.Bye Nats,things will never be the same again.I still remember the day you first came to office.

I’m losing you ,

Oh,Oh,Oh

I’m losing you ,yeah

Ain’t love the sweetest thing?

Oh ,Oh ,Oh ,the sweetest thing

Oh ,Oh ,Oh yea

Sweetest Thing.

U2

Pot belly……….

“I am beginning to understand”, said the little prince .There is a flower……I think that she has tamed me…’…..

It is possible said the fox. “On the earth one sees all sorts of things”….

We also meet all kinds of people on this earth. I felt a little strange reading this book; the reading session coming after the noon beer. The book seemingly reminded me of my own situation, something the beer was trying hard to fend off.

I closed the book and turned on my side.

How could a flower possibly tame a prince? Maybe the flower was big, or perhaps the prince was little and small.

I joined my new office last May, hoping that this job will turn out to be better than my previous adventures. Being an architect, has its own set of complications. Walking into office, you don’t really know if you’re good enough to be there .And then the issue of getting adjusted to a whole new design philosophy and company policy.

Anyway I was just happy to get there and there was a reason. Just two days earlier, I had seen this girl walk across to the pantry as I was waiting at the reception. I had sort of made up my mind then, that it is important for me start working at this place.

Life was beginning to feel good. And I felt good to act like the angry young architect; probably would‘ve put Howard Roark to shame. She smiled. I returned the favor.

Work was good. Some time passed, I was quite assured and happy, never expecting too much but the occasional smile and that side glance.

But you can’t remain angry and good. I tried to look more human. It’s the desire to get more .Thought this one time I could afford to. Still don’t know if that was the right thing to do. Being a gentleman is not quite me but I tried. Sometimes acting human exposes your underbelly. It’s a little soft and a little pot belly is developing now.

Now it was her turn. She was wonderful. Truly;the most wonderful one. Easy for me get near but a little closer and the thorns would come up to protect her. I loved her. I loved her lots.

And I missed her .I loved every little game she played. And every game she played to keep me away. I also cried. Sometimes together we cried. It’s difficult when someone means the world to you and yet her meaning much lesser to other people matters more to that someone. It’s also better not to have bad things to say about her best friends.

I’ve decided now to leave .Very soon. But the other day she cried. I’m human too I’m realizing .Sometimes thinking that you’re a great guy, actually makes you forget how weak and vulnerable you are. You know ,this girl has very nice friends. She probably doesn’t need me. And I’m still aching in my new found mortality.

Art I thought had made me immortal, but art only shows how human we are.

I’ve stepped out but I want to make her smile just once more. And get a side glance.

I still don’t know how a flower could tame a prince.